It’s time to go on a little field trip.
The intervention I’d like you to complete within the next 30 days of your life is a visit to a cemetery, graveyard, mausoleum, or other resting place. Immerse yourself in the utmost finality of it all.
If you’re in the middle of nowhere and can’t make this special field trip work, go online and Google famous people’s graves. I urge you to make this in-person effort as a part of your commitment to living like you mean it, if you can swing it.
- While walking through a cemetery, look at some of the gravestones and imagine the lives of the people who once walked the same earth as you.
- Zero in on a particular tombstone and notice the name, date of birth and death, and any other engravings. (When in Burgundy, France, The Husband and I stumbled upon this twee little cemetery and I was transfixed by the tombstone for a woman named Alice Fermouche, who died at age 22 in 1918. I tried looking her up online, but I couldn’t find any details.)
- Imagine a day in their shoes—what their hopes, dreams, and longings might have been. (Was Alice happy?)
- Imagine what they felt like near the end, what they might have been proud of and what they might have wished they’d done differently.
- Spend as much time as you realistically can on this: I encourage a minimum of 15 minutes to really be present with the idea of death.
- What was it like being in the cemetery? What were you thinking of, trying not to think of, or noticing?
- What other observations occurred to you on this field trip?
- Might you be willing to visit cemeteries in new towns or cities you visit? What might you have to gain by witnessing our shared human experience of dying?
When my book came out I went to Frank Sinatra’s grave to give him a copy (what with his whole, “regrets, I’ve had a few” thing). I went back recently and while the book was gone, I often wonder if old blue eyes didn’t make it past page one.
It was moving to walk through the cemetery, to wonder about people’s lives who were cut short, to appreciate my own stark aliveness. Are you willing to go on this date with death? Maybe you do it already? If so, please make a comment on this YouTube video I made about this very topic. I’d love to hear if you’re up or down for this field trip.
And also? We get to be above ground, unlike all the souls buried six feet under. We should celebrate that, right?
P.S.: Here’s the book Frank may or may not have read: You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets.
P.P.S.: Let’s connect on Instagram!
P.P.P.S.: Oh and just in case you missed it… I’d love you forever if you took 16 minutes out of your life to watch my TEDx talk!
