Welcome back for another life-jolting conversation about things that might need killing off in your life (before they end up killing you first). This is going to be so much fun!
As discussed in Part One of this NEVERENDING series, there really isn’t a shortage of ways we snuff the life out of our precious little selves. While it’s entirely human to be flawed, we’re not interested in throwing in the towel on our life-wrecking ways, are we? No, we’re here to make the most of our 4,000 Mondays (give or take) on the planet. We can try our best to curtail the self-sabotage, right? We can drive a stake into the heart of our vices, in an effort to live wider and deeper . . . and that’s what we’re gathered around this flame today to do.
So far we’ve chatted about these things that might need to die in your life (in Part One):
Life-wrecker #1: Kill your Pleaser mentality.
Life-wrecker #2: Kill your comparing tendency.
Life-wrecker #3: Kill your (emotional) dependency on food that deadens you.
And there’s so much more to kill! Any of these next three ring true for you?
Life-wrecker #4: Kill the soul-stifling job.
A dead-end job doesn’t just deaden your weekdays . . . noooo . . . it also leaks over into your weekend and drowns out any of the joy you managed to muster up for yourself. Here is my stern-faced, shoulder-shaking warning: You must do something about your dead-end job before you end up dead. (Have you heard of Karoshi—the Japanese term coined in the 70s that means “death by overwork”? Here’s looking at you, kid.)
If work is feeling like a flesh-eating disease that’s getting harder and harder to contain, your task is to determine if it’s you, them (the boss or the company), or if you’re both assholes worth blaming. Will the grass really be greener at your shiny new gig, or will you just be unpacking your problems in a new cubicle? Maybe a good bout of therapy can help you with your problem with authority (because that puppy of a problem will follow you around your whole career), or your issue with teamwork (ugh, I know, it’s the worst), or your belief that everyone is out to get you (that might require therapy and meds), etc.
Read more here on What is Your Career Breaking Point? and When Work is Killing You.
Kill. The. Job. That’s. Killing. You.
Life-wrecker #5: Kill the shoulds.
Living a life that’s shrouded by what you think you’re supposed to be doing is the precise definition of “unfun,” and it feels heavier than a body after a pandemic lockdown (boy oh boy we all bloated up back then, didn’t we?).
- If you’re saying things to yourself like “I should finish this book I started,” FUCK THAT! Kill your need to finish things that don’t bring you joy. Yes, this also includes the cocktail you took a risk on ordering at that so-hip-it-hurts little bar—the cocktail that don’t really want to finish. Life is too short to have a mezcal-forward cocktail if mezcal makes you feel unhappy with your life (does mezcal make anyone happy?).
- Ask yourself this existential doozy: “If I had 18 months left to live, would this Should even matter?” If the answer is no, you know your answer. Maybe you shouldn’t have to do your brother’s taxes for him and maybe you shouldn’t have to apply for that promotion you feel obligated to throw your name in the ring for, if you don’t want it deep in your heart.
- Exception! If you’re saying things to yourself like, “I should stop embezzling my company” or, “I really should worm my way out of this human trafficking gig,” you totally should! (Use your moral radar to tune into the shoulds that keep you out of jail/ let you sleep at night in peace.)
- Read more here on What You Could Do with Your Shoulds.
Life-wrecker #6: Kill the snooze button.
If you aren’t a snooze button-presser, you are excused from class (although I recommend you read this section anyways, with a self-satisfied look on your smug little face. It’s fun to read about problems you don’t have!).
If you are a snooze button-presser, I just want to check in on something: you do know that you’re wrecking your life right from the jump every morning of your precious existence, right? Oh good. I’m glad we see eye to eye.
“Yeah, but I only hit the snooze button once,” you might say, and you really must know we all know you’re a liar. Snoozing is a slippery slope. Even if you’re hitting it once today, it’s like heroin: you’ll be looking for your next fix in no time. This time next year you’ll be sleeping all day.
Researchers note that “the average time spent snoozing before getting out of bed was 26.93 minutes,” which means that if you’re a snoozer (i.e.: if you’re like 57% of adult humanity), you’re squandering almost half an hour of your day. You’re not sleeping, you’re not up and at ‘em . . . you’re in life limbo. Friend, I’m here to tell you that LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WASTE 7,039 minutes every year on a pseudo-sleep reality. (I’m assuming you’re snoozing Monday to Friday for a total of 117 hours or 4.88 DAYS OF YOUR LIFE EVERY YEAR.)
You can see now, right, how freaking insane that is? Like if you got to the end of your life, and maybe did a little “regret analysis,” you might regret wasting almost an entire year of your life (219 days if you snooze every morning of your career) to that liminal space of not-quite-sleeping and not-quite-living?
I don’t know why I’m getting all hot and bothered about this. Maybe because I don’t want you to waste your life to the uncommitted version of “I’ll live later.” Maybe because I’ve worked with people who have died and would have clamored for another 4.88 days on the planet in any given year. Maybe because I don’t want you to die with regrets. Maybe because I want you to treasure your time, even if mornings are hard for you. Maybe because I know there is a relationship between your morning routine and your life routine.
Fine! I’ll step off this snooze soapbox now. But I’m watching you, Snoozy Smurf—I’ve got my eye on you and your alarm clock and I’ll come for you (lovingly but sternly) if you don’t kill this little killer in a hurry.
Whew! That felt like a lot.
But I want it to feel like a lot! If I don’t bare some teeth every once in a while, how else will you feel motivated to kibosh the very things that are holding you back from living an astonishing life? Carrot, stick, whatever. All we know for sure is that the Grim Reaper has his eye on you (it’s not personal—he’s a philanderer with his eye on all of us), so why not arrange your life to kill off the things that steal the sparkle from your existence? Snuff the life-snuffers?
Kill the dead-end job.
Shelve the shoulds.
Perma-snooze the snooze.
And when you ixnay the stuff that’s holding you back, BUCKLE UP for a life that’ll blow your mind. Isn’t that what we’re here for? Let’s blow it up. We’ve only got so many Mondays left.
P.S.: We should totally Instagram it up!
P.P.S.: Oh and just in case you missed it… I’d love you forever if you took 16 minutes out of your life to watch my TEDx talk!