Today we’re going to stir two fabulous things together into a cocktail:

1. Happiness
2. A game (assuming you consider a quiz a game)

I can’t think right now of what this delicious elixir should be called, but I’m open to suggestions, so if your idea isn’t hideous, reach out and I’ll give you credit.

Back to the happiest game ever. Here’s how it’s going to go down:

Step 1: Pour yourself whatever drink makes you feel smart. (For me it’s the first three sips of wine, before it goes downhill in a hurry. I bet a lot of you are going to make a green tea, or a green juice, and I salute you for being so . . . green.)

Step 2: Take three deep breaths, do some arm circles, high-knees, gold medal visualizations—whatever it takes to get your game face on.

Step 3: Read through the list of “Happiness + Life Satisfaction Correlates” below, which is research-speak for “Shit That Impacts Happiness.”

Step 4: Categorize each item into one of three buckets:

• Zero to Small Correlation to Happiness (i.e.: negligible impact)
• Moderate Correlation to Happiness
• Large Correlation to Happiness (i.e.: mucho impacto)

Step 5: When you are done with your bucketing, THEN AND ONLY THEN are you permitted to scroll to the bottom of this article to see the answers. This is a self-monitoring kind of game, which I realize means that 79% of you are going to cheat—and another 10% of you HAVE ALREADY CHEATED by skipping to the bottom of the page, but whatever. It’s your life, Cheater Charlie!

Are you ready?

On your mark . . . get set . . . start categorizing!!!

Correlates to Happiness + Life Satisfaction (in alphabetical order):

1. Age
2. Being employed
3. Being married
4. Conscientiousness
5. Education
6. Ethnicity (majority vs. minority)
7. Extraversion
8. Frequency of sexual intercourse
9. Gender
10. Gratitude
11. Having children
12. Income
13. Intelligence
14. Internal locus of control
15. Level of leisure activity
16. Number of friends
17. Optimism
18. Percent of time experiencing positive emotions
19. Physical attractiveness
20. Physical health
21. Religiousness
22. Self-esteem
23. Skittles
24. Social class

Feel free to use this handy “fill in the blanks” template:

Are you ready for the answers? For the 12% of you who haven’t cheated yet?

Scroll down . . .

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Keep scrolling . . .

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Finally! Here are the answers:

Do these answers surprise you?
Do the correlates line up with what makes you happy and satisfied in your own life?
Might you be able to juice up the items in the “Large” correlation category so as to squeeze more out of life?

I will not be commenting on the chart this at this time, because I know you’re tired after playing this arduous game, but mostly because I don’t want things to get awkward about the sex thing.

So how did you do? How many items did you put in the correct category (if you didn’t cheat)?
It doesn’t matter, because as long as you are alive, you are winning at the game of life.
Now go do whatever it takes to make the most of your remaining Mondays. Maybe go have some sex?