Now’s your chance to give the gift of death … gifts your loved ones will never forget (or remember, if they die sooner than later). Oh, yes you did come to the right place for holiday cheer. Pour some (heavily) spiked nog, sip, and get shopping, Little Elf!

You have the opportunity to wake your family and friends up … to rouse them from their slumbering, take-life-for-granted existences. Why not bestow the gift of memento mori this year? (Refresher for those of you who skipped the first day of class: memento mori means “remember we must die.” Whoever said Latin was a dead language?)

Reminding your loved ones of their inevitable, no-way-out-alive lot in life (i.e.: THEY ARE ALL CAREENING TOWARDS INESCAPABLE OBLIVION!) really is the gift that keeps on giving. Subtle (and not-so-subtle) reminders of our mortality can provide the motivational fuel to start living with more intention and purpose, with a greater sense of urgency.

You don’t have to dwell on the morbid side of mortality … giving your Great Aunt Ginny an adorable skull tea set isn’t so much about the death part as it is about the LET’S GET ON WITH THE LIVING part. You might have some explaining to do after your family and friends unwrap your rather macabre gifts, but that’s okay. It’s the thought that counts anyways … and if they don’t like the thought, well, we’re all dying and it really won’t matter in the end.

FYI: I don’t make $$$ or benefit in any way if you buy any of these morbid-ish gifts (other than one … guess which one it is!); I offer them to you because I care (and it’s part of my job description as the Grim Reaper’s cheerleader).

61+ morbid-sounding gifts to spark a livelier life:

Drinking fun and games: Who doesn’t need a wine chiller—especially one with flames darting out of spooky skull eyes? And $45.95 will elevate the boozehound in your life to a whole new level of douchbagness … as they pour their third glass of bougie brown liquor, they’ll delight in the skull looking back at them from the decanter. You’ll want to get someone some skull-shaped ice cube molds (this gift scores extra points for its powerful metaphor: the ice melts away over time … just like life … drowning in a bourbon-soaked stupor). I bought the Flasket (get it? A flask + a casket = a flasket?) last year and gave it away as a prize to a delighted workshop attendee. And don’t forget this cute little shot glass, which regrettably doesn’t come with the manicure as pictured.

Death-inspired jewelry: Don’t tell me you’re not tempted to gift this 14-karat memento mori pendant to the tarot lover in your life (because we all have one friend into the cards). Feeling extra creepy? There’s a whole world of antique “mourning jewelry” out there, so you can get that special person in your life an 1800s ring stuffed with a stranger’s hair in it. Big spender? This pink amulet will kill you at $2,400 but will dazzle whomever you gift it to. For the cheapskates in the group, these $8.95 earrings might make the perfect stocking stuffer.

Death-inspired clothing: You’ll buy one of these cute pink skull shirts for a friend AND for yourself. I found the tackiest shirt of all time, so give this men’s shirt as a gag OR to gag someone to death in horror when they open it. This is a cute skull-splattered sweater, right? Look how much fun the model is having being reminded of death! This skully blazer is almost too cool for school. Who in your life would like to snuggle up with the Reaper on a cold night with this unisex faux-fur coat?

Deadly unmentionables (which I shall absolutely mention): Check out the floral pink skull boxers! To their right, the “bare back bones” boxers might be appropriate for the risqué boys in your life? The Sporty Spice type on your list might like this sports bra (so she can kill her next workout; get it?). Walmart is selling this skull-mixed-with-wads-of-cash thong (why the cash? I’m so confused), so that’ll make a great Secret Santa gift at the office.

Skull snugglies: Need a gift for your cozy-homebody-always-cold friends? Look no further … Pajamas! Onesies! Weird hooded blankets! Knit hats! Soft silk scarves!

Skull treats: Any sweet tooth in your life (other than yours truly)? This cute little candy cube houses gummy skulls; death apparently tastes like tart raspberry. Individually wrapped skull candies might help pad your stockings this year? Get cozy by the fire with some skully hot chocolate … and maybe give the stylish someone in your life a pack of geometric chocolate skulls to say “you’re dying” with panache.

Cooking stuff: Check out this killer cast-iron pan, which may or may not sear Skully on your gift recipient’s T-bone steak. I need these skeleton cheese knives, and I think you know someone who wants to creep people out with them, too. Don’t forget the skull-covered oven mitts and pot holder; it’s fun to serve dinners with them and have people wonder if they’ve been poisoned.

 Bestest book ever: Why not give the bookworms in your life something thought-provoking this year … MY BOOK! It’s called You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets. Lots of smart + cool people endorsed it, like Adam Grant, Dan Pink, Arthur C. Brooks, Dr. Laurie Santos, Chip Conley, Martha Beck, Jack Canfield, and more. You can email me at Jodi at fourthousandmondays dot com for a signed card you can share with your book-gift recipient; I’ll write something witty and weird, like “you’ve been gifted death, so live it up in the meantime!” (I’ll probably make the message less weird than that.)

Skully footwear: How about these flip flops for those who like to show their talons to the world? Or these knit slippers begging to be worn by the fire? At $575 these “slippers” are a bit pricier, but with death on the horizon, why not splurge on a loved one? (If you’re still feeling cheap, $1.20 will get you these cute skull socks.)

Wall art: Why not redecorate your gift-recipients’ homes—replacing their tired family portraits with skeletons in compromising positions? Or a cute little skeleton with a motivational message for them to “light your fire before you are dead”? Maybe your friend would prefer a laundry-inspired death message: socks, be warned.

Home decor: Why not give the gift of a home makeover to your most décor-challenged friend? (OMG, doesn’t HGTV need a Memento Mori Home Makeover show?! Ty, let’s do this!) Try these snazzy bookends I have been pining after for six years, a brass skull bowl that serves no purpose other than being cool, a cute pillow, and maybe a skull planter to prove that life is still a possibility.

Kid stuff: The earlier the kids in your lives are reminded their Mondays are limited, the better. How helpful you can be this holiday season by giving them a deathly cool hoodie (OMG doesn’t that kid in the picture look so happy to be alive?), skull crayons (that will also get used up and die, just like us), the coolest romper ever (that is regrettably not made in 48 year-old adult woman sizes), and because you want to die every time you step on an errant Lego, why not gift a skully Lego container?

Deathy oddities: This ashtray is perfect for the smokers in your life who need to be reminded about what smoking will do to them. So foreshadowy! The VIP in your life might like this $9,999 casket “crafted from the extremely durable 12 gauge steel.” It comes with an optional $99 seatbelt upgrade that we won’t ask questions about. Any big swimmers on your gift list? Look no further than this coffin pool float which will keep everyone alive on the water. Need to shop for a serial killer? Great news! This knife holder will be such a hit that it’ll surely spare your life until next holiday season. And finally … this letter board can act as a message board for your gift recipient, reminding them “YOU’RE TOTALLY GOING TO DIE. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!”

Pet gifts: Because pets will die someday, too (*heavy sigh*). Give the fur babies/ fur baby owners in your life a skully food bowl, squeaky dog bone toys, a sweater that will make Rover the coolest dog at the park, personalized ID tags, and a somewhat embarrassing coffin-shaped bed.

Cremains: That’s right: cremation + remains = cremains. You know what else is right? Giving a gift certificate for the coolest cremation of all time! Check out my 16 aforementioned ideas to deal with pesky cremains here, and tell me you won’t be Great Aunt Ginny’s favorite great niece/ nephew ever by turning her into a charming tractor keepsake. (After she dies, ideally.) It’s the gift of a lifetime!

And finally: For the car buff in your life … why not gift them a coffin car for a mere $60k? This really does exist. Okay wait—one more encore: Why not gift some of this Cemetery perfume for that special lady in your life? Featured notes include dragonsblood resin (say what?), grass, earth, moss, wood, with hints of vanilla and patchouli. Not a whiff of embalming fluid in the bottle. LAST ONE, I PROMISE (because we all have lives to get on with before we do in fact die): How about gifting the lifelong learner types in your life some online classes … where they can learn how to taxidermy from the comfort of their own homes? They are currently promoting a new turkey class where “you will perform every step throughout the process of mounting your own turkey in a strutting pose.” SO PSYCHED OVER HERE!

So there you have it.

What a majestically overwhelming array of memento mori-inspired gift choices to initially confuse and ultimately delight your loved ones this holiday season!

When your family and friends breathlessly tear open their gifts and then raise their eyebrows/ get all quiet/ do whatever they do when they are on the verge of being offended, you’ll want to quickly pivot from the “I want you dead” implication to the “I want you to carpe the heck out of this diem!” narrative.

And if none of these gifts seem “appropriate” for your Great Aunt Ginny (or any other gift-requiring leeches in your life), can I suggest that you buy a few ghoulish goodies for yourself? At least a stocking stuffer. Life’s too short to not treat yourself to a coffin car.