Which phrase have you been guilty of uttering (and you need to be honest here, okay)?
A) “Your trauma is your superpower.”
B) “I’m not a racist, but… (insert something borderline racist)”
C) “Talk to the hand.”
D) “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
If you answered A: barf; B: uh oh—you’re totally a racist!; C: gag… but should we bring that one back?; D: oh geez. We’ve got a lot of reprogramming to do on you, don’t we?
The purpose of this post is to brainwash encourage you to get at least seven hours of sleep. Per night.
Ideally you will sleep 33% of your life away.
This sounds squanderous, I know, especially for you productive types and party animals alike. That is why you’re up at all hours and say stupid things like, “I’m not a racist, but I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
Doctors call sleep mental floss because it clears the debris that clogs up our brains through the day. You can’t conquer the world with debris in your brain, or by being dead.
If you’re not getting enough sleep, you may have trouble making decisions, solving problems, and controlling your emotions—not to mention your behavior. And those are just the brain things—I haven’t even started down the list of health issues, like how less sleep can lead to heart disease and obesity.
Fun but deadly fact: If you sleep less than 5 hours a night, you’re asking for a 65% higher death rate compared to those who regularly sleep 6 – 7 hours per night. 👈 That’s like calling the Grim Reaper over for a bootie call while you’re burning the midnight oil.
If you average more than 8 hours at night, you’re inviting a 25% higher death rate. (You also increase your mortality risk by about a third if you take sleeping pills, so maybe a doctor or sleep specialist can help you with that.)
(Speaking of flossing, it will add 6.4 years to your life expectancy. If you don’t floss your teeth, you’ll spike your risk of death by 25% – 29%.)
Ideas:
- Go.
- To.
- Sleep.
- Oh and also? Floss!
- (I know you already know this, but in case you need a sleep prescription reminder, here is what the experts recommend: less caffeine, less booze, less nicotine, more exercise, more water, more meditation, and Egyptian cotton sheets that smell like lavender with a little chocolate on your pillow waiting for you.)
Lastly, Grim has something to say if you’re a night owl:
P.S.: I have an idea! You could fall asleep reading my book, You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets! (Not because it’s bad.)
P.P.S.: Let’s connect on Instagram!
P.P.P.S.: Oh and just in case you missed it… I’d love you forever if you took 16 minutes out of your life to watch my TEDx talk!
