Don’t you love it when you run into people (almost) as crazy as you? Crazy in the same crazy ways? I love it when I come across folks as interested in this mortality mentality as I am … and the good news is that there are a lot of us out there. (Necrophiliac? You can keep your distance, Corpse Kisser. WE ARE NOT THE SAME BRAND OF CRAZY.)

I heard from Patrick, a friend of this blog, and here’s what he said that I Loved (with a capital L):

I am the crazy one that celebrates the oddity of life and therefore are a follower of Four Thousand Mondays. This weekend was my big birthday of turning 20,000 days old (approximately 54 years, 9 months). Had it planned for some time now, as it seems just yesterday, I was 10,000 days old. Celebrated in normal birthday fashion, cake, presents (albeit gag gifts). I had many comments and odd stares from others as my wife posted on social media the celebration of the big day. Some were amazed and upset that they were never sure what they did on their big milestone days and had them calculating. Others called me straight up odd (haters are gonna hate). Nonetheless I enjoyed it and thought I would share to someone that would get it.

20,000th Day Birthday Card After corresponding a bit by email, Patrick’s story got even better:

My son had a summer job last year in a stuffy office with “old” people. He was the College Puke for the Summer. The company celebrated birthdays and made a big deal. I told him he was in luck. Puzzled, he said I will be back at school for my birthday.
In 37 days you will be 8,000 days old. The entire family has lived with my quirks and understands the game.
So on his 8,000^th day, he announced it was his birthday, and he brought his favorite cake into the office. The HR person was mortified and quickly checked his date of birth because surely there was no way to overlook a birthday.
He proudly announced he was 8,000 days old today.
Dead silence.
Confusion, odd looks, slight laughter. But really confusion.
Who counts how many days old they asked?
His response: Those who treasure and celebrate every day…
Somewhere along the way, I crept into his brain. My job as a parent is complete.

Parents: it’s time to start bringing up your kids the right way: like Patrick.

My 33,333rd Day

My Day 33,333 Necklace! Years ago I got it into my head that I’d love to live until my 33,333^rd day (I am wildly superstitious about the number three), which would make me a ripe 91 years, 3 months, and 5 days (4,761 Mondays in my parlance). If I do it right, I’ll blow my candles out on that day, eat a giant piece of carrot cake, and die right then and there with my face in the cream cheese frosting.

I had a necklace made with the date it will be on day 33,333. Goals!

To calculate your major Days of Life milestones (BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU NEED TO KNOW NOW), you can check this site out and click on the “Add to or Subtract from a Date” area.

The Million Hour Life

Festive Grim with Balloons My new friend Erin told me about her husband’s bold goal to live for a million hours. My eyes widened … could there be a weirdo—almost as weird as me—in Boise? I was all excited and I hadn’t even finished my first glass of bubbly yet. My enthusiasm waned when Erin mentioned the math: a million hours adds up to 114 years (41,666 days). “Hmmm,” the cholesterol in my arteries murmured as I stuffed truffle fries in my face three at a time. “It’s looking unlikely.”

The (fabulous) weirdo in Boise can go for it, but I’m okay to cash in my chips at 91 years/ 33,333 days.

An assortment of Better Birthday Math examples

Days:

5,000 days = 13 years + 254 days
10,000 days = 27 years + 144 days
15,000 days = 41 years + 34 days
20,000 days = 54 years + 289 days
25,000 days = 68 years + 179 days
30,000 days = 82 years + 69 days
35,000 days = 95 years + 324 days

Hours:

200,000 hours = 22 years + 303 days
300,000 hours = 34 years + 89 days
400,000 hours = 45 years + 241 days
500,000 hours = 57 years + 28 days
600,000 hours = 68 years + 179 days
700,000 hours = 79 years + 331 days
800,000 hours = 91 years + 118 days

Minutes:

10,000,000 minutes = 19 years + 9 days
15,000,000 minutes = 28 years + 196 days
20,000,000 minutes = 38 years + 18 days
25,000,000 minutes = 47 years + 20 days
30,000,000 minutes = 57 years + 28 days
35,000,000 minutes = 66 years + 215 days
40,000,000 minutes = 76 years + 37 days
45,000,000 minutes = 85 years + 224 days
50,000,000 minutes = 95 years + 47 days

Seconds? This is getting to be a bit much. Okay but I can’t resist:

1,000,000,000 seconds = 31 years + 258 days
1,500,000,000 seconds = 47 years + 205 days (I wish I knew that last year because I’d have celebrated that second HARD.)
2,000,000,000 seconds = 63 years + 152 days

It’s not motivating enough to count how many years we have left to live; that’s why I want us to calculate our Mondays left. But days and hours … I’m smitten. Sometimes we have to break measurable things down into ridiculous increments, ironically, to take them seriously.

So … how many hours do you want to make it to? When is your next Big Day Birthday (10,000 / 15,000 / 20,000 …)? And how will you celebrate when you reach that special day? Let’s make life a little more amusing before we all keel over, shall we?