A few weeks back I asked if you were a Dream Weaver or a Dream Leaver—you know, the type to pursue your goals and ambitions with fervor, or the type to leave your dreams in your dust because, well, it’s scary to risk failure and rejection and also there is some pretty good (i.e., distracting) programming on Apple TV+ these days.

Because I like a good rhyme, it occurred to me that I couldn’t just leave this discussion at Dream Weavers and Leavers. What about Dream Achievers? Deceivers? Perceivers?

Don’t worry—I won’t write about Dream Beavers. (Chuckles aside, I could totally write about Dream Beavers. I could ask if you’re building dams around your dreams… but I will show restraint in the beaver department.) (And I deserve a lot of credit for not doodling a beaver because you know I want to do that so badly.)

Are you surrounded by Dream Believers or Dream Cleavers?

Dream Believers are the supportive people in your life. They’re the ones you feel okay to vulnerably murmur your zygote-sized goals to in the first place, the ones who tell you “heck yeah, opening a ferret café is a great idea!” and then tell you why you’re the perfect person to make it happen. They are your cheerleaders. They believe in you sometimes more than you believe in yourself. It might be irrelevant if they are full of shit or not; if you believe that they believe in you, and it boosts your confidence to open a rodent-like animal café, then you want these Believers in your orbit.

Dream Cleavers are the unsupportive people in your life. They are risky to share early-stage ideas with because of their tendency to chop fragile dreams off at the knees. Sometimes they wield dull-edged cleavers: (“oh… huh. Did I tell you about my amazing idea?”) and other times they hack your dreams into bits: (“You are so bad with business. Maybe you should just foster a ferret instead and leave the big ideas to the pros?”). (Fun fact: A group of ferrets is known as a “business.”) (The fun facts won’t stop: the name ferret is from the Latin word that means “little thief.” Now we all want to open ferret cafés.)

When I pose the “Are you surrounded by Dream Believers or Dream Cleavers” question, the better question is, are you the one surrounding yourself with Dream Cleavers or Dream Believers?

Believers and Cleavers are out there, milling about, and it’s up to you to associate with the ones who will elevate your dreams, not extinguish them. Other than your family, your social sphere doesn’t happen to you—you control who you spend time with, who you listen to, whose advice and input you take to heart. You are an autonomous adult.

(Quick sidebar about family: many a relative has cleaved many a dream out there, right? It might be encoded in our DNA—the tendency to machete a sibling’s ambition, the propensity to tell a parent they’re ridiculous for going after a flashy dream, the reflex to quash a kid’s dream because it’s “unrealistic.” We can’t choose our family but we can choose how much of our dreams we share with the Cleavers in our clan. If Aunt Carole is a dream-slasher, don’t let her bring you down. Ask about her hydrangea garden and then skirt the topic when she asks about your keen interest in ferrets.)

Who are the Dream Believers in your life? Who are your champions? How can you arrange to spend more time with them? Might you want to thank them for this important role they maybe don’t even know they’ve been playing?

Who are the Dream Cleavers in your life? Who is cutting your dreams up? How can you curtail your time and energy spent with them? If well-meant people are giving you “DO NOT PURSUE THIS DREAM” advice, who can you go to for a second opinion? Not every friend or family member who puts a caution flag up is a perma-downer in your life; it’s up to you to decide if they are offering an educated opinion or if they’re just bloodthirsty.

Think about the people who share their ideas with you. What role do you play… are you a Believer or Cleaver? Maybe supporting other people in your life will make them more supportive of you, in turn.

It’s easier to leave a dream than it is to weave a dream, and in a world that’s a slog sometimes, the path of least resistance sure does seem appealing. We need all the help we can get from encouraging people to buoy our spirits, to take the next step, to do it before we don’t. Seek out the Believers. Life’s too short to let our dreams get chopped up into wee little bits.