“Half a loaf of bread is better than no loaf at all.”

What are your thoughts &/or feelings about this ancient proverb?

A) I wholeheartedly agree! I don’t even need the half loaf—I’d even take a slice. Maybe even just the crumbs shaken out of the tray at the bottom of the toaster—I can try to be happy with a little baggie of them.

B) Carbs be damned! I don’t eat bread. It’s a keto thing.

C) I vehemently disagree. I want to go for the full loaf and there’d better be Kerrygold butter to go with it.

I am here to advocate, quite aggressively, for C (especially with the butter). (👈This post is ruefully not sponsored by Kerrygold but if they wanted to send me a vat of their new cinnamon sugar butter, I would shamefully eat it like ice cream and post that video on Instagram.)

When John Heywood penned the aforementioned proverb back in 1546, a “halfe a lofe” of bread might’ve been a good score. A cursory internet search revealed that yes, “England experienced harvest failures and scarcity during the reign of Henry VIII,” so I won’t vilify Heywood for 479 years of encouragement to settle for partial-loaf lives.

That’s what we’re talking about, right? Settling for less… when more is a distinct possibility? Tolerating situations that are “okay enough”? Not taking a bit of a risk to go for the full enchilada. Yes, I did refer to going for the whole enchilada of life in this post last year; I even illustrated my point with a marginally-acceptable-looking enchilada (perfect for those of us who are gluten intolerant and can’t stomach the bread metaphor *sigh in the mirror*):

To settle in life generally means accepting less than what we truly want, deserve, or are capable of—whether out of fear, convenience, societal pressure, or self-doubt. It often involves choosing comfort or certainty over growth or fulfillment.

Examples of ways we settle for a half-loaf in life:

• Many of us stay in unfulfilling jobs because it’s safe or it pays the bills, even though it drains our energy or potential or blood out of our beating hearts. “I’d love a job at our competitor, because they’re really innovative and they have a cool culture,” a former client explained, “but I’ve got it okay here and the retirement match is good and I don’t want to risk making the change.” Are you settling in an “okay” job when an astonishing one might be out there for you?
• “I want a better relationship with my daughter but I don’t want to rock the boat. It’s best if I just have surface-layer conversations with her that preserve the relationship instead of maybe blowing it up if I honestly bring up our issues.” This was shared by a woman at a workshop I recently led. Are you remaining in a relationship that lacks connection, respect, or joy, out of fear of being alone or starting over?
• My Dad had a chair he’d sit in for 16.75 hours a day, back when he lived in his condo. After several years, the Staples floor model chair started to show its age (a bit like its owner?): its hydraulic system went kaput, the pleather was flaking everywhere, the wheels went nowhere—you get it. Despite pleas from me to replace it/ upgrade it/ burn it in a fiery pit in the parking lot, he’d say… get ready for it… “Jo, a half a loaf of bread is better—” at which point I’d pass out from the inner cauldron of rage bubbling over from within my soul, and then when I’d come to, he’d finish: “than no loaf at all.” He didn’t want to deal with figuring out how to sit in a new chair and preferred to inhale Naugahyde phthalate particles stay comfortably uncomfortable with his trusty old chair. A full loaf of bread kind of chair was out there waiting for him. With lumbar support for his sciatica. Are you settling for seemingly simple things in your everyday life that might be more of a compromise than you intended?
• Back when I was executive coaching my days were full of half-loafing conversations. Leaders kept below-average team members on the team because “even though Ramon is prickly, he knows how to do payroll” or “Teena isn’t really effective but she has been here for 12 years and she makes that 7-layer salad we all love at the potluck lunches, so…”. There are full-loaf players out there who can do payroll and not hiss at anyone who comes near their cubicle. There are other full-loaf kinds of employees out there who maybe don’t make killer salads but do a killer job on the actual job. Are you settling for a B player when a full loaf A player is out there?
• The letter R conked out on my Dad’s computer keyboard. “Dad! Let me get you another laptop so you can type coherent emails again,” I’d offer. “No, it’s okay, I’d rather keep this one. I don’t need R that often.“ (The letter “R” is the 8th most frequently used letter in the English language.) A*e you settling fo* inadequate, half loaf of b*read technology in you* life when you could have a full loaf of b*read solution?
• I know a woman who went on a second date with a dud because “At least he was on time” and “I’m no spring chicken anymore.” Are you selling yourself short because you’re not perfectly perfect or a certain age? (Just because you are over 50 doesn’t mean you have to settle for dates who eat with their mouths open.)

What are our “settling for the half loaf” mentalities born from?

• A belief that we don’t deserve more… “Who am I to go for the gusto and start my own business?”
• A value of modesty… “I should appreciate what I have, not keep upping the ante in life” (oh honey, read this article here for a splash of cold water in your modest little face).
• An unwillingness to rock the boat… “This okay-ish situation is good enough and I don’t want to ruffle any feathers and ruin what I already have.”
• A fear of getting what we want… “What if I get the big job and I can’t handle it?”
• A discomfort with perceived conflict… “I don’t want to bother the server about the aioli that was supposed to come with the fries.” (ALWAYS FOLLOW UP ON THE AIOLI.)
• An aversion to risk… “What if I move out of this sleepy town once and for all and then I realize I miss it?”

Resigning ourselves to a Good Enough existence is exactly that: a resignation. Of living. It’s giving life the pink slip. It’s copping out on what could be, what we really want, what we dream of, what might give us a shot at even more joy.

Settling for the half loaf of bread is easy to do because it contains enough calories to keep us alive. But there is a big difference between being alive and truly living, isn’t there? The full loaf is where the vitality and meaning can be found. The half loaf merely maintains our pulse.

Let’s get out there and grab the other half of the loaf (or enchilada, for us Celiac types). And may we never, ever type without the letter R.