Look at you over there, all ambitious out of the “New Year New You” gates! You’ve got that hungry-to-crush-your-goals look in your eyes and if we’re being honest, your enthusiasm is a little daunting, Tiger. But go go go! Ride that motivational new year wave! And then brace for disappointment ranging from niggling to soul-pulverizing. Chances are you’ve unwittingly screwed up the “what success looks like” formula, and that makes you normal but destined to feel chronically let down by yourself (*sigh*). We’re here to recalibrate that little mechanism in your brain and it’ll hardly hurt at all.

Whether you’ve assigned yourself a slew of S.M.A.R.T. goals or you’re just trying to “win the day” more days of the week than not, it’s worth it to be honest about how you define success.

Most of us over index on the completion part of a goal—on the big wins. You’ve got your eye on the prize, don’t you? And you’re maybe not happy until you’ve won said prize? Until you’ve reached the goal weight/ gotten the top job/ ran through the finish line/ launched the new product/ made three kajillion dollars/ smashed your S.M.A.R.T. goals to smithereens?

The happiness glitch occurs when the path towards reaching the goal is a bit long &/or winding, and we hold off on feeling good about ourselves until something “significant” happens at the end of the long &/or winding road. Holding off on happiness is a fairly big buzzkill though, isn’t it? And with a lifetime of just 4,000 Mondays (give or take), aren’t we’re angling to keep the buzz alive?

Here’s the solution, which is relievingly simple:

Step 1: Keep track of your Tiny Triumphs.
Step 2: That’s it; there is no step 2.

Remind me what Tiny Triumphs are again?

Tiny Triumphs are the wee wins in our lives. They’re often earned on the road towards a bigger goal, although they’re sometimes just the minor successes eked out on otherwise craptastic days. Research is clear that small wins are good for our souls.

Here is a snapshot from a Real Live Client’s “Tiny Triumph Tracker” back when I was 1:1 coaching. This is from a busy new mom and leader:

Monday:

• • Got kids to school on time (THIS IS A BIG DEAL!!)
  • Asked a “smart” question in the status update meeting
  • Successfully calmed A. down after conflict in team session
  • Stretched for 10 minutes after dinner

Tuesday:

• • • Finished client proposal #1
    • Said “NO” to M. to take on new billing project
    • Asked team for help with data migration issues
    • Made best enchiladas of all time

Wednesday:

• • Did well in EC presentation and handled tough question from marketing team
  • Booked flights to go home for Thanksgiving
  • Ordered side salad instead of fries with lunch

If you’re honest, you’ll admit you scoffed at the list a bit. You are likely a bit type A+ and I know you value Results and Achievement and maybe you always order the side salad (😑), so maybe this Real Live Client’s entry on Monday, for example, of “Successfully calmed A. down after conflict in team session” might seem paltry to you. Look at you, you judgy bitch! But hold up. This woman had a major goal to earn trust as a new leader on her team, so walking A. off a ledge after a snippy exchange with a colleague was an important piece of her team-building puzzle.

This Tiny Triumph might’ve escaped unnoticed in the grand scheme of just another manic Monday, but by tuning into the wee wins, she was able to feel less like Monday had her for lunch, and feel more on-path towards her grand goal.

Speaking of meals… did you catch her Wednesday entry? Maybe making a great enchilada dinner on Tuesday made her feel like the Best Mom of All Time (for at least one dinner). If she wasn’t tasked with recording her Tiny Triumphs she’d likely have glossed over the salsa verde goodness and not taken credit for a small but meaningful success.

Moral of the story?

Life gets hard. Sometimes we’re the ones who make it hard, because we impose big-ass goals upon ourselves. (Not that I’m telling you to aim low, but maybe that’s a topic for another post?!) Let’s not be idiots about this: we’re not going to pat ourselves on the back for getting out of bed (unless you’ve been clinically depressed and you got out of bed today for the first day in 12, in which case YOU ARE AMAZING AND WE NEED TO CELEBRATE YOU). No, we get the gist here. We’re trying to notice what a kind friend would notice about us, and nod to ourselves in a small gesture of pride that “I did this good thing today.” Are you rooting for you? Are you being a good teammate to yourself? (Don’t answer; I know it’s a “not really” for right now, but we’re changing that here today.)

Track your Tiny Triumphs. Even if it’s for 10 days. Do it and notice how much better you feel about yourself in a week when things feel stagnant. Give yourself permission to feel good that you asked a smart question in the meeting with the Big Cheeses (because OMG does that ever count!).

Can I encourage you to track these wee wins not just when you’re feeling under-successed… but even when you’re feeling like a baller? You deserve to revel in your progress regardless of where you’re at in the race.

Things are a bit bonkers in my life right now (my dad is in the hospital after 3+ weeks), so I’m being careful with myself. I’m celebrating these Tiny Triumphs:

• I managed to write this article on the road
• I brought my dad my homemade brownies and KitKat chocolate bars and he preferred my brownies
• I am refraining from ordering another 8 oz glass of Cab at the airport as I type this after visiting him (okay I ordered a 5 oz)

Track your Tiny Triumphs, my friend. Celebrate them. Life doesn’t get good when you get there; it’s happening right now. It’s up to you to notice and appreciate that you said No to an annoying thing at work, that you walked around the block, that you planned a novel date night, that you scored a meeting with a big buyer, that you did your hair.

So what’s your Tiny Triumph over the last week? If you want to email me at jodi at fourthousandmondays dot com, I’d love to hear from you. Maybe that’ll be your Triumph, that you shared it with me?! You’re doing amazing things out there and it’s high time you stopped underestimating your progress. YOU ARE WINNING, BIG and small.