Some people walk into a room and inexplicably lift the energy.

These are the “light up the room” types, the people with magnetic presence, or as those born in the 21^st century say, the people with rizz.

(👆 Champagne may or may not grease the skids of charisma. Being Leonardo DiCaprio also helps.)

And then others bring Monday with them into the room.

These are the energy vampires. The people who seemingly suck the energy out of the room. The wet noodles.

23 Signs You Might be the “Monday of People”:

• You hear, “That’s exciting!” and instinctively reply, “Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves…”
• You turn brainstorming sessions into risk assessments
• You bring “just one more thing” energy into rooms that were trying to wrap up 10 minutes ago
• You respond to enthusiasm with logistics
• Your stories have no arc, no end, and no survivors
• You sigh a lot, and loudly
• You say “quick thought” and then deliver a 9-minute TED talk no one asked for
• You turn good news into a cautionary tales
• Your default line is “let me just play devil’s advocate”
• You chronically complain about problems you have zero intention of changing
• People leave interactions with you needing a snack or a nap
• You confuse “being thorough” with draining the will to live, adding 6 unnecessary paragraphs to every point
• You typically ask for the music to be turned down
• You ask questions that feel less like curiosity and more like a performance review
• People say, “We should catch up!” and then don’t
• You are a consummate skeptic (and pedantically know that means you’re a minimifidian)
• You think you’re being helpful, but your feedback creates confusion instead of clarity… landing like a light rain of discouragement
• People regularly excuse themselves when they’re with you to use the restroom/ top up their glass/ swan dive out the window
• You’ve been described as “grounding”… and not in a good way
• You’ve never met a silver lining you couldn’t cloud over
• You passive-aggressively say, “I’m fine” in a way that clearly means not fine
• Your motto is, “I’m not a pessimist, I’m a realist”
• Your monotone, flat affect quietly pulls the room down
• Your “read receipt” stats are alarmingly low
• Your first name is Debbie and your last name is Downer
• You leave people thinking, “I need to go talk to someone who reminds me I’m alive”

Your Monday energy is rarely intentional (and if it is, maybe consider starting a Sociopaths Anonymous group in your area?). Most of the time this behavior comes from wanting to be helpful, smart, or taken seriously.

But here’s the thing: energy is contagious. And so is deflation.

Employees mirror coworkers’ emotions through a process called emotional contagion, which occurs in an automatic and unconscious fashion. Bad energy on a team doesn’t stay contained; it becomes the worst-ever group project.

Research also shows that negative emotional contagion can contribute to health problems and poor sleep. Said differently, wet blankets slowly snuff the life out of everyone around them.

What to do if you might be the “Monday of people”:

If people consistently leave conversations with you feeling a little more tired, a little less inspired, or if you feel like everyone else around you are the downers, it’s worth paying attention.

Small shifts can change the way people experience you:

• Lead with curiosity. Before you critique an idea, build on it. Replace “No, but…” or “Yeah, but…” with “Yes, and…” to keep momentum alive.
• Read the room. Meet the current energy—then try to nudge it up a notch. Just don’t let it dip on your watch.
• Ask questions that expand ideas, not interrogate. “What’s most exciting about this?” goes way further than “What’s the risk?”
• Know when to land the plane. Don’t be the “one more thing” person… wrap it up, Buttercup. Energy leaks often happen in the last 10%.
• Leave people with a wee little lift. Acknowledge something. Appreciate someone. Name what’s working. High five someone.

You don’t have to be the loudest, funniest, or most charismatic person in the room. Leave that to the Friday of People people. Leave that to Leo in his tux.

Just don’t be a spreader of despair and despondency. Maybe aim to be the Wednesday of People. Sound good? (Nod and smile, you little ray of sunshine, you.)